Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Bowling For An Identity

Do you really care? Do I really care? Does anyone? Apparently someone does.

Every day on Facebook I'm assaulted with reminders that my friends have a deep desire to determine which Monkee, musical instrument or mass murderer they are most like. Not only that, but they also feel compelled to share the information with the rest of us. As my friend Brad used to say: "Why?"

I mostly ignore this behavior, but a question popped out at me this morning that was so insane that I'm still thinking about it 12 hours later: "Which PBA bowler are you?" Seriously? I can honestly say that I have never wondered which PBA bowler I am most like, or, for that matter, which one my friends are most like. 

I can't even name a current PBA bowler (a quick side trip to the organization's Web site reveals that someone named Wes Mallot is apparently the "King of Bowling." Who knew?).

What's behind this madness? Are we so desperate to find out who we are that we are driven to fill out these faux personality profiles and then gleefully share them with our pals? Do we really need to find out from Facebook what cocktail, carnival ride or Klingon we most resemble?

Or are we simply bored?

I don't claim to know the answer, but what I do know is that if I did a list of "The Five Things That Terrify Me" like my friend Chuck, inane lists would be at the top.

Now excuse me while I send virtual beverage to my fellow members in the "Pass A Drink" club. We have 5,829,701 monthly active users, you know.


  1. This is great!! And being one of the guilty, I am renouncing my membership in the "Pass The Time So We Can Collect Marketing Data On You While Phishing For Email and Other Personal Information" Club...

  2. Now -- to pro-bowlers. Many years ago I was half-assed listening to a sports show my son was watching on tv. They kept mentioning various football players and saying they were pro-bowlers. I casually asked my son why so many pro football players were on that bowlng circuit. Was it just fun, or a way to make money when they had down time?

    My son narrowed his eyes and said, "Are you trying to be funny or are you really that ig'nert?"

    Indeed, that ig'nert.